When I started blogging so many years ago, the vibes were different.

I was different.

It was the before…

Before Insta-worthy photos, the “influencer” home and THE asthetic.

I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I liked. I modeled myself as a character, looking at the successes of other women bloggers with small children my age.

“The Asthetic” back then was just beginning. Though it was pre- sad beige, it was beginning to be curated.

No character clothes. Neutral tones. Vintage wood toys. Nothing plastic.

Joanna Gaines style was beginning and I was going through all of the stages of grief in finding myself, so I tried them all.

All the while I realized I was robbing my kids from such a vital part of childhood. Now don’t get me wrong, we had an amazing time together, but their clothes were void of color. None of their favorite characters were ever worn in pictures. And I worked really hard to maintain an image that really wasn’t me.

If you scroll reallllyyyyy far back in my private Instagram , you will see the evolution.

You’ll see me trying to convince myself that the white couch was a great idea (we still have it, but the slipcovers are a velvet orange).

You’ll see a farmhouse vibe, the ever changing paint colors and the search for something I didn’t even know that I was looking for.

You’ll see me go in phases. Phases when I’m feeling beautiful, and phases where ( I never came out and said it, but ) I was going through major PPD, phases where I was capturing all of the memories around me, but never OF me.

The good, the bad, the ugly. But also the beautifully mundane, and joyful world.

I’m not sure when it changed, but with my 3rd child, I only had hand me downs, and I loved them. They were vintage and many were mine.

Then my kids got more and more into THEIR vibe.

I was at a crossroads.

I either needed to mold them into what I want them to be to fit “the asthetic” or meet them where they are.

I chose THEM.

T.H.E.M. (Get the picture?!)

Bonus points if you can name the movie that’s from…

By choosing them, I found me.

Sad beige…perfect white…WILL NEVER BE ME.

Not with 6 kids and choosing to do other things with my life other than cleaning.

So I remembered what I loved (And my husband made a deal with me that if we moved to his hometown, then I could choose how we decorate).

We don’t live life like anyone else. And we love that.

But don’t ever let an “Asthetic ” define you.

Don’t let an “Asthetic” determine what you love, how you decorate your home, how you dress or how you allow your children to dress.

Don’t ever be afraid to change course, direction or style. Don’t be afraid to say that something isn’t working, or that your family deserves different.

Be who YOU are and be that person loudly.

Even if it looks different than everyone else (on the internet and in real life).